The New Rules of Success

<img alt="The New Rules of Success" height="400" src="https://cdn.psychologytoday.com/sites/default/files/styles/article-inline-half/public/field_blog_entry_images/thumb-328420_640.jpg?itok=KbXeK4xJ" title="The New Rules of Success" width="377" /><br /><br />Many people have been taught everything from algebra to zoology but not the keys to real-world success. <br /><br />Some are time-honored, others reflect modern times. <br /><br />Work long. An old saw is, "Work smart, not long." Alas, today's truth is that, in many workplaces, especially in prestigious organizations, working long is also key to being promoted and not "laid off." <br /><br />Be low-maintenance. In a kinder world, bosses and coworkers would be particularly supportive of employees in need: who suffer from mental illness, have a family member with cancer, and simply who need tasks reexplained. But I'd be less than honest than to encourage you to open up about such things. In many workplaces, especially in prestigious organizations, everyone feels pressure to do more with less and so if you're perceived as high-maintenance, you become a candidate for being marginalized, shunted aside where others won't have to deal with your issues. <br /><br />Alas, the rule for getting ahead in many if not most of today's workplaces: Be preternaturally pleasant. No, not necessarily chirpy, just moderately upbeat nearly all the time. <br /><br />Get technical. The days are rapidly ending when you can afford to say "I'm not a math person" or "I'm not technical." While soft skills such as communication and organization are widely important, increasingly, they're valued only in concert with technical skills. <br /><br />Attend You U. The old rule was "Degrees are worth it" But now, their price tag has gone throug the roof. At the same time, good courses are now available nearly free online (Udemy, Udacity, Coursera, edX, etc. In addition, there are free, time-effective YouTube and other online videos, and Google-findiable articles on every imaginable subject. All that has made You U an often-wiser choice: Create a curriculum personalized to your needs and that of your employer. You U enables you to learn what you want, when you want, far faster, and at dramatically lower cost. Just make sure your job applications make clear how your You U education not only was more practical but is evidence of your being a cost-conscious self-starter. <br /><br />Learn how to play team ball. Individual initiative is largely being replaced by team effort. The successful team member must learn to express disagreement in ways that while tactful, gets the point across, be patient in the face of the inefficiency common in team efforts, and accept that credit must be shared, even often with those who didn't pull their weight. <br /><br />As you move up, you must learn how to run a crisp meeting: tight agenda, friendly but professional tone, subtly encouraging conciseness, learning when to rely on consensus and when to make a leaderly decision, and ensuring that commitments made in the meeting are kept. <br /><br />Communicate deftly. People are ever more sensitive to slights. So you must weigh whether the upside of providing feedback is worth the possible alienation. If so, with most people, you must exert great care in how you couch a suggestion. Except in extreme situations, you must prioritize letting them save face. So rather than, "I think you should do X because of Y," you're on safer ground if you say, "Because of Y, I'm wondering if it might be a good idea to do X. What do you think?" <br /><br />Remember the Triple Bottom Line. In the old days, it was all about the bottom line: what will enhance profitability. Today, in a growing percentage of workplaces, there is a triple bottom line: profits, people, planet. As you make your decisions, it's wise to consider all three. <br /><br />Beware The Third Rail. Race and gender are ever more difficult to discuss candidly. You may wish to be silent on the issue. Or if you speak up, it's much safer to opine in the politically correct direction: that you advocate reallocating more to women, people of color, the disabied, and LBGTs .The workplace highway is littered with people killed because they dared question that Orthodoxy. <br /><br />Focus on The Other. Almost 100 years ago now, Dale Carnegie wrote the highly influential, How to Win Friends and Influence People. Its core advice is as valid today as ever: Focus on the other person. Let them talk; ask about them; help them get their needs met. <br /><br />For example, perhaps the best question you could ask a coworker and especially your boss is, "How Could I Make Your Life Easier?" As legendary sales trainer Zig Ziglar said, To get what you want, help people get what they want."<br /> <br /> <span style="font-size: xx-small;">credit:psychologytoday </span>

The New Rules of Success

Many people have been taught everything from algebra to zoology but not the keys to real-world success. Some are time-honored, others reflec...

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How To Safely Store Food In An Emergency

With hurricane season off to an early start, now's a good time to familiarize yourself with how to prepare for a power outage or other emergency situation. Heck, it's never a bad time, even if you don't live on the Eastern seaboard or in Tornado Alley.<br /><br />Since you can be without power for hours, days, or even weeks, one of the most important things to take into consideration is food storage and safety. Not only do you want to maximize the life of your perishables, but you also want them to besafe to eat.<br /><br />Read on and we'll explain how you can prepare your food for an extended outage, or skip straight to the second section if you're already in the midst of a power outage and/or storm for advice on what you can do right now.<br /><img alt="How To Safely Store Food In An Emergency" src="http://a3.images.reviewed.com/image/fetch/s--sTzkNfIj--/c_limit,cs_srgb,f_auto,fl_progressive.strip_profile,g_center,q_jpegmini,w_579/https://reviewed-production.s3.amazonaws.com/attachment/7a26bc59bdb14b09/flickr-e06158-empty-shelves.jpg" title="How To Safely Store Food In An Emergency" /><br />How can I prepare?<br /><br />If a storm is on the way, one of the best things you can do is freeze your food. The FDA recommends freezing both containers of drinkable water and perishable foods that you won't need right away.<br /><br />"Take your small water bottles and you can just stuff the freezer with those," says James Judge, a member of the American Red Cross Scientific Advisory Council. He adds that they will work much better than bagged ice when it comes to filling up remaining freezer space.<br /><br />Frozen water bottles can also be used as ice packs for coolers, and will help keep food cold longer. Make sure to freeze any ice packs you have lying around, and invest in some bagged ice to fill in the cracks in the coolers. If you don't own any coolers, now's the time to buy some.<br />You want to make sure both your fridge and freezer stay at or below 40 degrees once power is out.<br /><br />The FDA also recommends that you try to find stores that sell blocks of dry ice, as they'll be helpful if you're without power for multiple days at a time. If you don't fill your freezer to the brim, make sure to pack everything close together, so that when the power does go out, your food stays frozen longer.<br /><br /><br /><br />Purchase thermometers for both your refrigerator and freezer. You want to make sure both compartments stay at or below 40 degrees Fahrenheit once power is out. Any higher and you risk spoilage and/or food poisoning.<br /><br />If you live in a flood-prone area, store non-perishables and bottled water on shelves to keep it away from potential flood waters.<br /><br />Finally, don't forget to keep a good supply of non-perishable and canned foods that can be eaten without cooking. Ready.gov points out that you'll want to avoid foods that make you thirsty, so choose canned foods with a lot of liquid and reduced sodium.<br /><br /><br /><img alt="How To Safely Store Food In An Emergency" src="http://a5.images.reviewed.com/image/fetch/s--nIqCtgQK--/c_limit,cs_srgb,f_auto,fl_progressive.strip_profile,g_center,q_jpegmini,w_579/https://reviewed-production.s3.amazonaws.com/attachment/2622e1fe831a41cd/flickr-swire-power-outage.jpg" title="How To Safely Store Food In An Emergency" /><br />The power's out. Now what?<br /><br />First and foremost, do not open your fridge or freezer unless it's absolutely necessary. The FDA warns that your refrigerator will only stay cold for four hours and your freezer for 48 hours under ideal conditions.<br /><br />Some appliances may last longer—a Frigidaire spokesperson told us that their fridges can last anywhere from eight to 24 hours—but you should play it safe and use thermometers if you have them.<br />"If you're not sure if the food is good, don't try to taste it or eat some of it."<br /><br />If you expect to be without power for more than a few hours and it's safe to leave your home, buy some dry ice to keep your fridge and freezer cold. Now is also the time to pack coolers with ice and perishables if needed.<br /><br />When it does come time to eat, the FDA strongly urges you to thoroughly cook perishable foods, especially meats, to the correct temperatures. Make sure that the food is still cold before cooking it. If it has been above 40 degrees for more than two hours, do not eat it—throw it away.<br /><br />"If in doubt, throw it out," says the Red Cross's Judge. "If you're not sure if the food is good, don't try to taste it or eat some of it to find out if it's safe. That's dangerous."<br /><br />And if you do manage to prepare hot food, hold off on putting leftovers in the fridge.<br /><br />"The refrigerator or freezer may need to recover temperature, depending on the duration of power outage," says a Frigidaire spokesperson. "So it is advised to not load heavy or hot food loads into the refrigerator until it has recovered."<br /><br /><br /><br />And Frigidaire adds that you shouldn't add any foods to your freezer during the outage—only the refrigerator, if necessary.<br /><br />If you're dealing with flooding, have to remain in your home, and haven't done this already, move any non-perishable food and bottled water that has not been touched by flood water to high shelves.<br /><br />The FDA warns that any food that has come into contact with flood waters should be discarded. The only exceptions are canned foods, foods in sealed pouches, or foods that have been sealed in watertight containers. These can be sanitized with soap and clean water, followed by either being boiled in water for two minutes or sitting in clean water with bleach (1 tablespoon per gallon of water) for 15 minutes.<br /><img alt="How To Safely Store Food In An Emergency" src="http://a1.images.reviewed.com/image/fetch/s--9S_sAOdL--/c_limit,cs_srgb,f_auto,fl_progressive.strip_profile,g_center,q_jpegmini,w_579/https://reviewed-production.s3.amazonaws.com/attachment/1e287908b1f64f9b/flooded-kitchen-flickr-jessicafm.jpg" title="How To Safely Store Food In An Emergency" /><br />What should I do after the storm?<br /><br />You've made it through the storm and your power has come back on. Now you can begin the process of determining which food is still safe and what needs to be sanitized.<br /><br />First, check the temperature of your fridge and freezer. If they are still at or below 40 degrees, you can keep your food. If not, you will want to dispose of it for safety's sake. FoodSafety.gov has two handy charts for fridges and freezers that will tell you exactly what can be kept and what should be thrown away.<br />If you own any wooden cooking instruments that came into contact with flood water, dispose of them.<br /><br />If there was flooding, dispose of any non-watertight foods that came into contact with flood waters. The items that you keep should be sanitized with bleach. TheFDA says the same goes for any cooking surfaces or cookware.<br /><br />If you own any wooden cooking instruments that came into contact with flood water, dispose of them—you can't fully sanitize them. The same goes for refrigerators and freezers. You should also run your dishwasher three times to clear its water lines and clean out your ice maker with bleach.<br /><br />This might seem like overkill, but this is one case where it's better to be safe than sorry. The American Red Cross also suggests you download its Emergency app. It has a lot of the information we've included here, and plenty more. Please be careful and stay safe out there.<div> <br /></div> <div> <span style="font-size: xx-small;">credit:usatoday</span></div>

How To Safely Store Food In An Emergency

With hurricane season off to an early start, now's a good time to familiarize yourself with how to prepare for a power outage or other e...

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Does Eating Your Carrots Make You More Creative?

 <a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjyHdBMZOe3gu_Cu5enNtUSrbFLj72YbqSVmzk2QWSuQufe2NSQNqubWdODWcVuhecbcHsinWaqTcYTGbz5xkk2TBiY-sK4uBSfm7QgHF0GYftbiX-QBhCurydu-2bnmbmyc8RnNgtd6LU/s1600/Vegetables.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="Does Eating Your Carrots Make You More Creative?" border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjyHdBMZOe3gu_Cu5enNtUSrbFLj72YbqSVmzk2QWSuQufe2NSQNqubWdODWcVuhecbcHsinWaqTcYTGbz5xkk2TBiY-sK4uBSfm7QgHF0GYftbiX-QBhCurydu-2bnmbmyc8RnNgtd6LU/s400/Vegetables.jpg" title="Does Eating Your Carrots Make You More Creative?" width="400" /></a><br /> Eating my veggies always makes me feel self-nurturing and virtuous, and that’s a boost to my happiness and self-esteem. But the mental health benefits of a well-nourished mind don’t end there. A new study hints that eating fruits and vegetables might also make me more curious and creative. <br /> <br /> In previous studies, people who ate more fruits and vegetables reported feeling happier and more satisfied with their lives. This relationship persisted even when researchers controlled for factors such as income, education and physical activity. <br /> <br /> In the new study (link is external), more than 400 young adults completed daily online diaries for two weeks. Each day, they recorded what they were eating, feeling and doing. Below, lead researcher Tamlin Conner (link is external), Ph.D., a psychology lecturer at the University of Otago in New Zealand, explains what the results revealed. <br /> <br /> What were the key findings of your study? <br /> <br /> Dr. Conner: On days when people ate more fruits and vegetables, they reported feeling much happier than they normally did. But even more strongly than happiness, daily fruit and vegetable consumption predicted states of eudaemonic well-being — how engaged and inspired people felt that day, how interested and curious they were in their environment and how creative they felt. In fact, these patterns for flourishing were almost twice as strong as the patterns found with happiness. <br /> <br /> Might it be that people who ate fruits and veggies also tended to stay healthier and exercise more, and that’s what helped them flourish psychologically? <br /> <br /> Dr. Conner: This is a good question. If people were having a healthy day, they might eat better, exercise more and feel better because of the exercise, not the diet. However, in follow-up analyses, I controlled for daily exercise and daily health ratings, and the original findings still held. <br /> <br /> How could eating fruits and vegetables enhance someone’s psychological well-being? <br /> <br /> Dr. Conner: I think there is likely to be a connection between fruit and vegetable consumption and the motivation or drive to engage in daily life — approach motivation, in scientific terms. There are biologically plausible pathways by why fruits and vegetables could promote engagement. <br /> <br /> Vitamin C might be a key pathway here. It is an important co-factor in the production of dopamine, which is critical to mood and motivational drive. A recent study (link is external) found increased vitamin C levels in the blood following kiwifruit consumption, with corresponding improvements in emotional vitality. <br /> <br /> B-vitamins and complex carbohydrates in fruits and vegetables also promote the synthesis of dopamine and serotonin, which are important to daily mood. At this stage, however, I cannot say exactly what the mechanism might be. <br /> <br /> Because your research was correlational, it wasn’t possible to show causality. Could it be that feeling engaged and curious led to choosing healthier foods? <br /> <br /> Dr. Conner: Yes, that’s very possible. There is a growing awareness that happiness and health are tightly linked, and the connection is bidirectional. This is why I’m shifting into intervention research, so that I can test for causal patterns and biochemical mediators. <br /> <br /> I have a study running right now that aims to increase young adults’ fruit and vegetable consumption over a two-week period. This will allow me to test the causal effects of eating more fruits and vegetables on mood, engagement and curiosity. I will also be looking at a few select biochemical mediators, including vitamin C. <br /> <br /> In the meantime, what are the practical implications of your research? <br /> <br /> Dr. Conner: Pay attention to what you eat each day for a week, and then try to incorporate more plant foods the following week. Although at this stage I cannot say with certainty that eating carrots will make you more creative or that fruit will help you flourish, the evidentiary base is growing. So it probably wouldn’t hurt to hedge your bets and opt for a carrot rather than a candy bar if you want to feel better.<br /> <br /> <span style="font-size: xx-small;">credit:psychologytoday</span>

Does Eating Your Carrots Make You More Creative?

  Eating my veggies always makes me feel self-nurturing and virtuous, and that’s a boost to my happiness and self-esteem. But the mental he...

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What's Your Worst Nightmare?

<div class="blog__header page-header"> <br /><div class="fb-like-button"> <div class="fb-like fb_iframe_widget" data-action="like" data-href="https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/not-born-yesterday/201504/whats-your-worst-nightmare" data-layout="button_count" data-share="false" data-show-faces="false"> <span style="height: 20px; vertical-align: bottom; width: 78px;"></span></div> </div> </div> <div class="insertArea"> <div class="image-article-inline-half"> <div class="insert-inner"> <div class="insert-image"> <img alt="The Nightmare, painting by Henry Fuseli / Public Domain " height="323" src="https://cdn.psychologytoday.com/sites/default/files/styles/article-inline-half/public/field_blog_entry_images/Pasted%20Graphic.png?itok=6gR-MkTZ" title="The Nightmare, painting by Henry Fuseli / Public Domain " width="400" /></div> </div> </div> </div> <br />They are the grim subject of several centuries-old paintings, in which a black horse (or "night mare") hovers near a sleeping figure. They have been the terrifying theme of movies, past and present––from "I Wake Up Screaming" (1941), to the latest "Nightmare on Elm Street" flick. So, what exactly is a nightmare? <br /><br />Trying to understand much of what has been written about the human phenomenon known as a nightmare is difficult for a layperson. Still, as one who habitually suffers bad dreams, it was a subject I wanted to know more about. Correct me if I'm wrong, but these are some of the impressions I have gathered: <br /><br />What is a nightmare? A very disturbing dream, often causing the victim to waken in fear and anxiety, or cry out and thrash around in bed, or even sleepwalk. <br /><br />Who has nightmares? Almost everyone, from time to time, beginning in early childhood and usually––but not always––diminishing with age. <br /><br />What causes nightmares? In adults, a number of things, including certain drugs or withdrawal from them, stress in a person's waking life, such as problems in a marriage or relationship, changing jobs, moving, pregnancy and worry about finances, to name a few. Oddly enough, some people have nightmares completely unrelated to anything that happens during the day. Those individuals are thought to be more creative and sensitive than others, and instead of fearing them, are able to regard nightmares as merely interesting or even fascinating. <br /><br />What can be done about nightmares? Depending on what's causing them, most will cease once the cause is removed, say the experts. Until that happens, anxiety during daylight hours can creep into our dreams, and cause us to wake up in a cold sweat. (Being frightened is usually what wakes us up, ending the nightmare.) I have read about something called "decoding" that can help the nightmare sufferer. This involves learning to analyze and interpret dreams to make them less frightening. One technique is to write down, or draw pictures of what appeared in the dream. If nightmares are unusually distressing or emotionally debilitating, a therapist may be the answer. <br /><br />I'm fascinated by dreams that recur, night after night, and may be common to most, if not all of us. Here are some so-called "anxiety dreams" that I know about: <br /><br />The "Student's" Nightmare: Almost everybody has had this one, and it can recur even years out of school (I still have it from time to time). You are running down the hall, frantically looking for your classroom because you know there is going to be an exam that day and you haven't studied for it. You can't remember the last time you were there, or what the class is about. <br /><br />The "Actor's" Nightmare: Similar to the previous one, except that you are acting in a play, but you can't remember which one, or any of your lines. There is even a very funny One-Act called "The Actor's Nightmare" in which the male lead enters dressed for a Shakespeare play only to find that the rest of the cast is doing a Neil Simon, so he rushes off to change, then comes back on stage to find everyone in Elizabethan costume, and so it goes. If you are having this nightmare, you will likely wake up before the audience starts throwing things. <br /><br />The "Help! I'm Falling!" Nightmare: You are in a very high place or, like Jimmy Stewart in the movie "Vertigo," you are chasing a fleeing figure across a rooftop when you slip and fall over the edge. It's a long way down, and you are screaming and clawing the air in terror, but before you hit the ground you wake up. <br /><br />The "I Can't Get Away!" Nightmare: Something like the reverse of the bad dream above, because now it's you who are being pursued, running as fast as you can but losing ground to your pursuer, minute by minute. It's not uncommon to wake up out of breath. <br /><br />The "Lions and Tigers and Bears, Oh My!" Nightmare: I've had this one since childhood, probably beginning with seeing "The Wizard of Oz," and Judy Garland tripping down the yellow brick road, fearful of being attacked by wild animals. <br /><br />Not exactly a nightmare, but something called the "Exploding Head Syndrome," or EHS, can disturb your sleep, too. It's typically a loud noise like a gun shot or a door slamming, or a telephone ringing which you think is real, but is only in your head.<br /> <br /> <span style="font-size: xx-small;">credit:psychologytoday </span>

What's Your Worst Nightmare?

They are the grim subject of several centuries-old paintings, in which a black horse (or "night mare") hover...

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How Your Food Impacts Your Vagina

<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"> <a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEivNlQSDRBohPEeFLq1hk00sbgfZo8f4Lh-P2QPnb3ZTRPDI7S5AqJUt7IkwlxzGSeuYAzGGFcogXxYmRyszgIixOye_kD1-8o-wycWK2xergSQKJ4r9UXKS3m7gKXcZS8zbM-tcb7FS0lD/s1600/vargina.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="How Your Food Impacts Your Vagina" border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEivNlQSDRBohPEeFLq1hk00sbgfZo8f4Lh-P2QPnb3ZTRPDI7S5AqJUt7IkwlxzGSeuYAzGGFcogXxYmRyszgIixOye_kD1-8o-wycWK2xergSQKJ4r9UXKS3m7gKXcZS8zbM-tcb7FS0lD/s1600/vargina.jpg" title="How Your Food Impacts Your Vagina" /></a></div> <br />Ever nosh on asparagus to have your hoo-ha—and we're not just talking your pee—smell funny? Well, that's one way to think about that whole "you are what you eat" connection. And it turns out, for women, it's a pretty important one.<br /><br />Healthy vaginas have a naturally acidic pH, as well as a host of healthy bacteria that ward off infections and keep everything humming along as designed, says Mary Rosser, M.D., Ph.D., ob-gyn at Montefiore Medical Center in New York.<br /><br />But the foods you eat can influence that pH, changing the way your nether region smells (and even tastes). For instance, spices, onions, garlic, red meat, dairy, asparagus, broccoli, and alcohol can all affect the natural balance you’ve got going on, while fruits and fruit juices may turn things especially sweet, Rosser says. But whatever the effect, it will only last for two to three days after you eat your fill.<br /><br /><br />So when it comes to eating for two (you and your vagina, that is), she suggests filling up on fresh fruits, veggies, whole grains, and plenty of water. And if you like Greek yogurt, all the better. "Yogurt with live and active cultures are probiotics and may be involved in helping the vagina maintain a healthy acidic pH and balance," she says.<br /><br /><br />And finally, you may want to cut back on sugar for your vagina's sake: Women with uncontrolled high blood sugar due to diabetes may be at an increased risk for yeast infections, says Rosser.<div> <br /></div> <div> <span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Verdana, Geneva, sans-serif; font-size: xx-small; line-height: 18px;"><b>credit</b></span><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Verdana, Geneva, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 18px;">: </span><span style="color: #333333; font-family: Verdana, Geneva, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 12px; line-height: 18px;"><i>womenshealthmag.com</i></span></span></div>

How Your Food Impacts Your Vagina

Ever nosh on asparagus to have your hoo-ha—and we're not just talking your pee—smell funny? Well, that's one way to think about th...

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